Push to the End

Summer classes are indeed winding down, which means, it's crunch time. Because of the family reunion, I am very behind on studying for a major test in 18 hours. I've studied hard and have time scheduled tomorrow to study more. I NEED to pass this test, more now than ever. It has been a long time since I was concerned that I may not pass a class.
My other class is done in 3 days and I have 2 projects to complete. Again I have planned to complete those Wednesday before work.
Okay... I'm avoiding a very important topic that I need to touch on. Amanda had a miscarriage early this morning. We had a good cry about it and considered whether we should test the chromosomes for problems. In the end we decided that it was our passionate hearts that wanted the test but our rational minds that guided us to not have it done. The information we could gain if there was a problem with the chromosomes would mean little about future pregnancies. If there was no chromosomal problems, we'd blame ourselves for doing something wrong. The fact that insurance wouldn't cover the process definitely played a part, too; even when your passionate heart wants it.
So being able to work past the emotional issues and complete my activities is a challenge, but my commitments to work and school always keep me driven to succeed. I hope we succeed with a baby soon.

Long Haul Home

Just got home from Rapid City. It was a long drive but it is nice to be home. I realize how connected I typically am to the internet on a daily basis. Even more so, I realize that even though I didn't get online for 3 solid days, I didn't really miss anything. I felt like I missed a bunch, maybe some websites updated which I will never catch up on, but does it really matter? Probably not.
Withdrawl symptoms did not occur, nor did I feel the need to log on immediately. In fact, I did some quick stuff around the house right when I got home long before I turned on the computer. I feel pretty good about that.

Fore!

Made it golfing for the third time in my life. We played at Foutain Springs in Rapid City prior to the biannual family reunion. It was a par 35, nine hole course with plenty of water hazards, but I only lost 5 balls or so (net loss, because I found a few while I was out). Dad, Wes Knebel, David Tanner, and Brian Smith (Steph's fiance) were the only ones who went but it was good time. I played like crap but I got to use my own clubs this time around. Previously, I had borrowed my dad's clubs. I picked up the clubs at an estate sale last fall.
You might also see the hat hanging from the clubs. Not only was I a fan of the show, but that is the official city of Deadwood hat. That's no television logo. I've had the hat for proably a year and a half and wear it pretty often, when I'm not wearing my Birdhouse skateboard company hat.

Steph's Bridal Shower

The women in my family were busy at work at 9:30 PM in preparation for my sister's "Goin' Camping" themed bridal shower tomorrow. My wife volunteered/demanded the right to throw the shower because it is traditionally the sisters of the bride who throw the shower. Amanda's the closest thing to a sister... other than friends. But because my sister just moved from Florida to the Black Hills, she doesn't yet have many close friends to host her shower.
I'm not sure how much the party is going to cost us but it is worth it, even if money is becoming tighter and tighter as medical appointments occur once a week right now.
Speaking of money, Amanda only has 5 night shifts left then she will be working strictly days. We estimate the loss of pay around 15% but, again, it is worth it.
Other Pictures:
Shower cake remains
Post-shower Steph with gift
Amanda recovering from shower

Packing for Two

So we've been packing for a couple hours in preparation of my family reunion. We plan on leaving tomorrow to the Black Hills of South Dakota... but only after a doctor appointment in the morning which starts less than 8 hours after this entry. So, with that said, I'm going to keep this short. I hope to have some great pictures from the trip. Earlier in my life I haven't taken many pictures, because I haven't had what I thought to be "good reason." Well now that I've commited myself to blogging, I have that good reason.
I chose to include the picture as it shows how much, or little depending on your perspective, we pack for a 4 day trip for just the two of us. Hopefully in the future, we will have at least two other people for which to pack, though childrens' items are much smaller, they need all their gadgets/toys, too. In the picture, from top left going clockwise: laptop briefcase with my summer class homework and paperwork from the agency; Amanda's purse; camera bag with video (tape) camera, digital camera, and extra batteries; suitcase with a few things laying on top which will be thrown in trunk of car; DVDs and portable player for them; in the middle is a can of spray-on sunscreen. Items not included in picture: my shaving bag, Amanda's "makeup" bag, pillows, and activity-oriented gear (this trip needs camping gear to decorate for my sister's bridal shower and my golf clubs! Third time golfing ever).

Skill Seeking

I will be a terrible teacher early in my career. I still have so much to learn before I am a good, effective teacher. I have the desire and ambition, just not the skill. This week I need to call my the teacher who will be guiding me through my student teaching experience... I've procrastinated (see earlier entry!) long enough. The teacher's name is unisex, so I'm sure I'll make a bit of a fool of myself when I ask for him/her. Must get it done!

Free Write About School Change

Premise for this entry: in-class assignment to spur discussion. This what I wrote in 10 minutes time.

I think that schools need to reform how they spend money. It is suggested by some political pundits that privatization of our schools will lead to higher standards. The government can set the standards and expect the private agencies to meet them with contracts at risk. This will create competition and lifted goals. This change is perhaps the most frightening, but I think it would work.

Further, more money needs to be spent for/by schools on public relations. PSAs and community outreach will help alienated families feel welcomed and informed. Teach families to better support their students and require higher standards.

Teachers can currently make positive changes by creating lifelong learners. Do not give assignments that encourage copying and simply looking up answers. Give opportunities for students to research topics they find of interest and hold them to very high standards. Students will strive to meet your standards.

Create a classroom environment that will make students want to participate. Find the special motivators that are unique to each student. I am motivated by feeling needed... I like it when I can help others, especially if I must be there for anything to happen. Some students are motivated by odd things like grossing other students out. Reward them by giving them an opportunity to appropriately do so.

Procrastination

WHY do I create a blog entry saying "I'll get back to it" or "updates forthcoming" when I know damn well that I procrastinate? (See "Snapshots of a Career" entry) As I type this, I'm mid-homework (several activities) which I should have done earlier so I could be sleeping right now. I put so many things off till the last minute, including departure to appointments and meetings, but I'll talk about that more later :)

Today I headed off to my sister's-in-law apartment for a homemade pizza... leaving 10 minutes late. When I finally got there, I made up 5 minutes, but then I couldn't remember which frickin' apartment was hers! I knocked on what I thought was her door to see strangers standing on the other side. The occupants didn't know who "Regina" was and worse yet, I forgot to take my cell-phone which meant I couldn't call anyone for directions. So after walking the halls and pounding on a few random doors (confusing even more strangers), I went back to the first door and asked to use their phone... I needed to go one door over. I knew my instincts were good, but my sense of direction sucks. If I hadn't procrastinated leaving the house, I would have only been 5-10 minutes late, rather than 20. I deserved the ribbing I received from the family.

Pre-Neonate Update

First "official" ultrasound today went wonderfully (the previous procedure via the emergency room was not part of the typical prenatal appointments). The betaHGc levels and size of the embryo are still not as high/large as they should be but the specialist doctor was quite optomistic. We'll see, but I'm beginning to get excited again.

Snapshots of a Career

For the last 6 years, I've worked with several adults with mental (and some with physical) disabilities. Only one whom I've worked with consisitently for my whole stint with Mosaic. I teach them life skills and personal interaction skills. Most rewarding low-pay job I've ever had.

Work is winding down. Only a month left before I begin student teaching and likely leave this current line of work forever. I thought I'd take some time and link some pictures of the places to go regularly with clients. Hopefully I've taken time over the next few days to add more photos.
Boys and Girls Club
Fort Street
Fort St with Clients

Scholarship

An education is something that is invaluable, especially now. Because of my biology background, I have the required background knowledge (and practice) to understand scientific journals relating to pregnancy. We had some quesitons about early detection of trisomy 13 and 18 (genetic abnormalities that always result in death shortly after birth). I was able to access the university's online journal catalogue and discovered that it certainly is possible to detect the abnormalities much sooner than either my wife or I thought. I saved the information so that, if need be, I can present the doctors at tomorrow's appointment with something to think about.
It is certainly impossible to create a network of people willing to get things done for you, but the information of those people has been increasingly easy to access (pre-internet). I'm going to revise a well known adage to, "It's not who you know, it's knowing how to find them." I believe that us somewhat socially inept people will be pleased with that.

Friendships in a Relationship

Today Sqeaky, whom I consider my best friend, stopped by to see Amanda. He knows the difficult issues we are facing with pregnancy and wanted to check on my wife. Amanda truly likes Sqeaky as well, but treats her relationship with him much differently than she treats her other personal friendships. If I were not in her life, yet she knew Sqeaky, she would likely be friends with him. She is reluctant to let the friendship blossom because he is so important to me. Everybody needs an outlet to vent frustrations and with whom to have secrets, according to Amanda. If he became close friends with her, I would lose that outlet to spout about her.

They say if you really love something, you should let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. Apparently, if you really love something, kick its friends in the balls, if they keel over, you've given them something more with which to bond. Okay, so she didn't do that, but she basically said she's going to start turning him down when he wants to visit with just her. I never thought it could help a relationship but it kinda makes sense... her insight on my needs is evident, even if I'm not aware of what I need.

Optimism/Pessimism/Realism

Many people think about events in one of three ways: in a positive light, negative light, or by simply viewing the facts without applying feelings. This morning these versions clashed as my wife and I came home from our first official prenatal appointment. We were once again faced with bad news from an expert in the field (not just an emergency room medic) who gave us a very poor prognosis for pregnancy making it to the second trimester. She based the information on two hormone measurements but called for a third to ensure the downward trend continued.

My wife was obviously crushed and reacted strongly, as you can expect. But I, with my scientific mind, which my wife demands is ever the optimist, wanted to wait for the third result. Several hours after the appointment we received the very encouraging results. My wife's emotions surged very excitedly with the odds-defying change in prognosis. Still, I remain guarded because things can still go sour.

So here I am, a man who believes he is based on rationality, but always accused of wearing rose colored glasses by nearly everyone who knows him. The best explanation is that optimism is typically welcome by people who are in despair. They need to hear that things can improve. However, I am painfully aware that people who are elated never want to hear the bad that could come. I think about the negative aspects, though. I keep aware of all possibilities, good and bad, in any situation. While spreading optimism is wonderful, pessimism should be kept to oneself. Hoping for the best while preparing for the worst is my way of coping. That's realism.

Websites

So I have a plethora of websites that I visit as they update. I have listened to many podcasts as well... but I don't have my MP3 player handy (I'm not sure where it is).

A few of my favorite websites:

Wizards of the Coast for both Dungeons & Dragons and Magic: the Gathering (even though I rarely play Magic anymore, I still love many aspects of the game and like to keep current.)

Engrish

Infendo

My Extra Life

Nexus War

Digg

Snopes

I currently keep a myYahoo account which lets me customize a page. I keep all those links on my site so I can access them from any net-connected computer.

Among my favorite web-based comics:

American Elf

Commissioned Comic

Sinfest

Dueling Analogs

Those are just a few of the quick-to-link comics which I am likely to update in the near future. I figure it'll be fun to look back at those links in the future (many of which will likely be broken) and reminisce.

Home Repair

Follow-up medical appointment gave us poor prognosis for the pregnancy, yet physical symptoms have all but vanished for my wife. While I have the "wait-and-see" mentality, she has taken a bit of a pessimistic view point.
Meanwhile, we received a dishwasher from friends who upgraded to new appliances. I obviously made a mistake in installation, as we now have water overflowing from the machine. It appears that water is constantly flowing into the machine (slow as it may be) even when off. There may be a problem with the electronic water control. I truly hope that I can diagnose and fix it because the old dishwasher only worked as expected half the time.

Typical Saturday Night

Work went much more smoothly today. It definitely helps when a person is motivated to wake up for the day. He really looked forward to an open house... afterwards we even got work done. Yay!
After work was my typical Saturday night: games at my house with half dozen or so close guy friends. We've been having game nights beginning shortly after I moved to Omaha, about 4 years ago. With my wife on bed rest, I had to leave the chilly basement to help her here-and-there upstairs. She's amazing, though, not asking too much, still taking care of herself (and the baby) without straining.
I really shouldn't be blogging during game night, but if I didn't do it now, I probably wouldn't. Let's get back to the game!

Baby Certainty

I missed a posting day, second day of this process... how frustrating. I have good reason though: On Friday morning, I went to work through the agency and visited a client at his home. He was in a really bitchy mood today and was not interested in doing anything that I was paid to do that day (run his educational programs, teach him how to clean, etc). Apparently, he and his mother had a fight that morning about video games and him yelling/swearing at the television in the middle of the night. Anyway, I made it through the day keeping myself relatively relaxed about the situations, though I did manage to sneak out early, they even fed me before I left, which is impressive because we usually eat out. Good thing, too.
On my way home from work, my wife, who has had problems with prenatal cramping, called my cell phone crying because she had "spotted." Once I got home (remember, perfect timing because I left work early) she had already contacted the OB-GYN and was waiting for a call back. In the meantime, I consoled my wife and did further research via the net. We were soon off to the emergency room.
After a battery of tests, including our first ultrasound, the hospital basically implied (though they didn't outright tell us) they thought it was dehydration that was causing a majority of the problems. We now know that the pregnancy in on track and implantation was in the placenta, not ectopic.
Relief!
I will be pushing water on my wife, who has been placed on bedrest for the next 4 days (until our first scheduled prenatal appointment). We'll see, but it seems that everything is going good.
So was this a good enough reason to miss my second day of posting? I think so. Hopefully, I'll have something of interest to write about today... but not right now.

Independence Day 2007

The day after! Bought some great fireworks last week and actually was able to hold off using them until the 4th (with the exception of some small stuff, of course). Dropped about $120 this year on a variety of explosives. My good friend Sqeaky (not his given name) came over after work with some things of his own to blow up. Had a great time.
Though we did a lot of cleanup last night, there was still a lot of fall out of shrapnel remaining, especially in the yard. I've linked some pictures of the post-cleanup fallout. I'm really glad I spent so much time watering the lawn in preparation as the last month has been rainless here. No significant fires on my block (though the sparkler rocket created lots of persistent flames in the street...burning duct tape, mostly).
Amanda's friend Kelly was here too, en route to see his girl friend in Missouri (I think). He's currently living in Minnesota. Seeing how Minnesota has only recently legalized fireworks, he didn't grow up with them and is completely unimpressed by the desire to ignite them.
In my summer class, I overheard that someone made his own fuses to set off many fireworks simultaneously. I inquired a bit and I now know how to do it myself! I think I 'll have lots of fun next year.

Privacy

Why is my profile nowhere to be found? I chose to do so.
Identity theft is not the concern addressed by this decision. Rather my future career will place every public thing I do, square in the limelight (locally). Teacher education has taught me that I will be scrutinized, even in my off-time. I expect that I will use this blog to tell some personal information and I don't want everyone (especially high school students) to easily recognize to whom this belongs. Will people have a hunch about who I am? Perhaps, but at least there will always be a possibility of doubt.

Environmentalism

Currently I enjoy finding all the little things I can easily do to conserve energy. I've employed the compact fluorescent bulbs in my most commonly used light fixtures, and will swap them into the new locations as bulbs burn out. I adjust the thermostat when I leave the house. And the newest application came in selecting the background for this blog. Some suggest that if Google altered its homepage to a black back-ground, ridiculous amounts of power would be saved just in the amount of energy difference required to light computer monitors world-wide. Now, I know that this blog will never have Google's traffic, but if every person adjusted their websites accordingly, the power consumption would diminish significantly. With that said, my first Blog has a dark, background, as does my myYahoo page (which houses my dozens of bookmarks).

Initialization

Here I am, creating my initial personal blog. For years I have understood the benefits of a journal but never took the opportunity to create one. I finally bit the bullet and began. Through my efforts, I hope to have a method to look back at my life and see a bit of my own thoughts through my own personal history. I plan to take pictures to accompany my words, though they will often be unrelated. Will I share this blog with friends and family? I don't know. I will rarely have profound insights and will typically be boring. But as we know, reality is only of interest between the long stretches of boring. The bits of reality I post about will attempt to target the interest but it is more important to myself to post stories that may be useful to retell later... interesting or not.
So, with that, welcome to BitOfReality.